Log in

No account? Create an account
i know it's not considered right, the way i live my days and nights [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ archive | journal archive ]

a loaded gun makes for conversation [Feb. 27th, 2005|11:57 am]
[action |amusedFUCK YEAH]
[noise |Offspring [living in chaos]]

got kicked out of 'nother plate-brat waterin' hole. shit happens. from what i get, they called rude in t'get me. i think. either way, i woke up in 'is bed, chewin' on his shoulder. mmn. tastes like balding.

he reminds me i promised t'make dinner. an' perhaps i shall. i don't remember that, but hey. what's th' harm, right?

i've been sneakin' missions outta tseng's stacks. they're a lot better'n th' fuckin'... bullshit i get. his are juicy. worth th' time. i don't think he misses 'em yet. it's more fun this way. get this info, shoot this wanker. it's great.

this is what i'm talkin' 'bout. shinra needs t'step up on this one. i'm qualified baby. i'm takin' tseng's missions an' finishin' in style. fuck yeah bitches.

i wonder if that's a pay boost fer each'a those bitches. that would be fuckin' excellent. pay day's right here. guess i'll find out. heh heh heh.

i fuckin' kick ASS.

bitches love me 'cause they know that i can ROCK.
linkpost comment

give me laugh [Feb. 23rd, 2005|07:26 pm]
[action |indescribablewhy me. why fuckin' me.]
[noise |Dir en Grey [embryo (album version)]]

paperwork is tedious hell. i like usin' that word. tedious.

i dunno. i guess i really didn't think 'bout it much before but... fuck. i hate shinra. i really jus'... fuckin' hate 'em. i hate th' people. i hate th' buildin'. i hate this fuckin' job. there's nothin' 'bout this place i like. th' only good thing that came outta this shit was rude.

that's ironic. th' only thing i really thank shinra fer is what brought me t'this hellhole anyway. it was thanks t'rude. thanks t'long nights drinkin' with th' stranger, long nights'a playin' with a turk 'cause everyone else avoided 'im. fights we got in t'gether, fights we had. now he's th' only thing t'fuck, th' only one t'drink with, th' only comfort i got. s'not like i'd have much better elsewhere, hell, i'd prob'ly choose him over half th' sectors. thing is... i dunno. i guess i'd rather it be choice'n necesity. necessity. need.

i hate needin' shit. i hate it. i hate havin' t'play dumb t'get any. i hate suckin' up t'people jus' so they won't report me fer bein' late. i hate breakin' into th' employee lounge cause i need a loaf'a bread. i hate this shit. th' money goes t'payin' fer wind-downs after long days, new suits when i ruin th' old ones, gettin' blood an' grease an' stains out. small fee fer this, insurance fer that. holy fuck, it's like i don't even make anythin'. s'posed t'get paid more per job but... hell, tseng ain't given me a job yet.

s'why i'm a spy on th' side. heh.

i dunno. i guess... it's safer up here. i should be happy. got a roof over m'head, garunteed. people actually need me 'round, even if it's jus' t'take blame. i got a bunch'a pretty faces all 'round, i got my own office. but it don't really matter...

i jus'... miss th' slums, i guess. i was tough shit there an' everyone knew it. up here it's like i'm fuckin' chopped liver. no one gives a shit. my rep's bad. no one gives a shit 'bout me. i'm reno. watch out. i'm jus' in it fer yer twat.

i wish rude'd jus' left me down there. th' silence's gettin' t'me whenever i go down. haven't found many who'll still talk t'me. found a pubie hair in m'drink last week. i don't think i'm welcome anymore. kinna hurts.

s'like... i was th' slums. i made th' slums. i was th' poster boy fer slum-shit weekly. i was a name there. i was a personality. celebrity. i had respect. i had people lookin' up t'me.

where th' fuck did it all go. where is it. what th' fuck's this company 'bout anyway. jus' sit here, do paperwork, sit in on meetin's every once in a while. boring bullshit. bullshit bullshit bullshit.

i'm not fuckin' shinra material. rude was wrong. i don't belong here, i belong down there. i belong where i always been. i belong with m'kind, m'friends, m'streets. i'm not cut out fer this borin' office shit. if i don't find somethin' more, i'm out. i'm so fuckin' done. tseng says so much 'bout these dangerous missions, gimme some. i'm so fuckin' done bein' a paperweight. i'm not jus' another stiff.

if he won't gimme some, i'll find another way t'get it. i'm sick'a this shinra bullshit. i'll fuckin' get outta here somehow. fuck this. fuck it all raw.
linkpost comment

if th' cops don't make y'pay, an' y'make yer getaway well that's a one fine day [Feb. 13th, 2005|08:19 pm]
[action |sleepydead]
[noise |Cake [satan is my motor]]

mn. i guess when it comes down t'it, y'really jus' have t'remember that y'do have someone rootin' fer ya. somewhere.

i gave up fer now th' search of shinra fer someone interestin' t'lay. found good humour in familiar places. all was well. work is more splendid, when y'can make winks at people. it's glorious.

so, i felt naughty. ha. i left th' buildin' 'round th' time tseng's trainin' session was s'posed t'take place. i wandered, decided t'map out th' plate. found an' arcade an' slipped inside. i love havin' arms thin 'nough t'reach under machines fer lost gil. s'i played a bit. couple'a th' lame-ass shooter games. got bored. lifted some gil from th' guy makin' change. played th' sub game. i kick ASS at th' sub game. made me wanna learn how t'really work a sub. it was awesome.

s'then i was outta gil, an' satisfied, an' on my way out, this guy ran int'a me. so i turned 'round an' he looked me over an' smirked. he says t'me, wanna play? i'm thinkin' a quick screw in th' bathroom'r somethin'. so i say, sure, why not. he pulls me over t'this crazy-ass machine. flashin' lights, loud music, what th' FUCK.

so he buys me a round. it's CRAZY AS FUCKIN' SHIT. th' screen tell y'what t'do an' y'fuckin' DO IT. it's CRAZY an' i SUCK. he made fun'a me, so we played again. an' again. AN' AGAIN. an' holy fuck. my everything aches. aches like y'wouldn't KNOW. i've never SEEN this shit before. it's like... it's like shootin' mako an' walkin' through th' market. it's CRAZY.

so i played this guy. an' i started catchin' on. an' i ended up payin' fer all of it later, like i thought. but hey. he beat me fair an' square. teach me not t'bet on somethin' i suck at.

i came back t'th' shinra buildin', tseng's not 'round HURRAY an' i'm off t'bed. 'cause i'm tiiiired an' sleeeeepy an' waaaarm. i kinna wish rude didn't have so many fuckin' missions. i have one t'morrow. dunno if he's comin' with me. oh well.
linkpost comment

half'a pound'a heroin, half'a pound'a treacle, that's th' way th' money goes, out comes th' evil [Feb. 12th, 2005|06:44 pm]
[action |deviousgonna get'cha o/~]
[noise |Mindless Self Indulgence [your problem now]]

okay, so i finally figured out what th' fuck is wrong with people on th' plate.



an' y'know, it's like... i realized why we're all in poverty, an' so fuckin' MANY of us, an' how we still manage, fer th' most part, t'stay upbeat 'bout bein' in shit-street. 'cause we fuckin' ENJOY WHAT WE HAVE. all we really have is ourselves, each other, lots of free time. so we fuckin' live it up, we fuckin' enjoy what little time we have an' THAT, m'friends, is EXACTLY why we have a population 100 times more'n on th' plate.

i went through half m'fuckin' list an' there's NO ONE. i mean NO ONE so far who'll even give me a look. they're all stuck up fuckheads, too good fer slum-shit, even if i live plateside now. so yeah, let's ignore that little bugger. good, good, good. fuck that.

so i resorted t'flatterin' secretaries, which only works... 'bout four minutes at a time. an' i already knew this, i guess, 'cause th' TWO TIMES i tried drinkin' at th' bars up here, no one even LOOKED at me. no one fuckin' goes out t'drink an' meet people up here. it's all whinin' int'a beer, weak drinkin' sonsabitches, angry housewives an' anal retentive businessfucks.

y'ask 'bout th' slums, why there's so many whores everywhere, why we're all in everyone's faces, why we don't care who'r where half th' time. we know in this shithole that all we got is what we're made fer. havin' sex. fuckin'. makin' love. it's all th' same, an' we know sooner'r later everyone breaks down'n needs some. business jerks up here prolli get off on paperwork. bet someone's gotten caught humpin' a copy machine. i bet, i bet, i bet.

but y'know. lots'a important people come down t'th' slums t'get laid. we're cheap, an' good, an' we'll keep our mouths shut. it's hilarious, seein' workin' stiffs in new clothes they fuckin' threw int'a mudpuddle'r somethin' thinkin' it makes 'em slummy. god, we laugh so hard. but there's one'a day, at LEAST that comes wanderin' down like he's grade-a slumshit. 'specially in th' market. hoo boy.

but man oh man. if half'a 'em would jus' COME DOWN every once in a while, like friggin' TSENG maybe, why, i wouldn't have't'deal with 'is PMS. he'd be SATISFIED an' not take it out on everyone else.

memo t'self. hit on people fer tseng too.

second memo. 'cept lena.

linkpost comment

a is fer asphyxiation [Feb. 10th, 2005|10:44 pm]
[action |frustratedsexually frustrated whodathunk]
[noise |Lords of Acid [the ABCs of kinky sex]]

this mornin' i got up an' th' chick i spent th' night with took my wallet. not like there was much in it, right. i wasn't gonna chase it down. then i remembered m'keycard. y'know. th' fuckin' thing that gives me rights t'upper floors here in shinra.

turns out, she was workin' fer someone. i finally found her 'round sector seven. she was braggin' 'bout it over th' phone t'someone. so i grabbed her. she wouldn't let th' fuckin' thing go. i finally got it outta her fuckin' hand an' she pulled a gun on me. so i bashed her skull in with th' pipe they gave me up in trainin'. fuckin' thing looks like PVC but fuck if it don't smash bone like no one's business. i didn't mean t'kill 'er. i mean, i don't feel bad 'bout it. she wasn't that good a lay. but christ. blood everywhere. i thought th' thing would bend onner, but nope. not a scratch.

she'd spent what little cash i had. not like it much matters, but whatever. i took her earrings with me t'remburse, as they say on th' plate. replenish m'account. move money t'th' department. whatever. but fuck, yeah. deadchick earrings buy little jink in th' market. oh well. jus' money. not like... i got used t'havin' it.

still, makes me wonder. what th' fuck am i s'posed t'do when i need a good fuck? if half th' people down there hate me, who th' fuck am i gonna get it from? there's only so much a man can do on 'is own, y'know? but fuck, i'm not dumb enough t'try th' slums again. it's a different place now, i tell ya. unless... what, i become a queen'r somethin'. heh. i guess i could deal with that. have a nice wig, a little makeup. i got the body, but i'd have t'stuff'r somethin'.

shit, what th' fuck am i sayin'? ah, who th' fuck cares. shinra can bite me. s'long as i get some somwhere, i'm good. maybe i'll start fishin' 'round th' office. heh heh heh.

okay. officially on th' hot fuck prowl in three



gentlemen, start yer engines.
linkpost comment

yer makin me sick [Feb. 9th, 2005|11:01 pm]
[action |nauseatedwhat's in th' fajitas?]
[noise |Ella Fitzgerald [cry me a river]]

th' most retarded thing i think i've ever done is go out fer food. i
mean, y'serve me shit fer high prices an' i end up gettin' a fuckin'
tortilla with a day old scrap'a chicken on it. fuck that shit. three
t'an order, ate 'em all, now i feel sick as shit. what th' fuck is
goin' on.

i can't stand this shit. i go down t'th' slums an' everyone acts like
i never been there before. fuck, someone tried t'pick me last night
when i was wanderin' home. i smacked th' shit outta th' punk an' he
was like 'holy shit, reno? s'at you?' fuck yeah it's me. but he
jus' snorted an' called me backstabbin' shinra shit an' ran away.
yeah, well fuck you very much, asshole.

so is that it? everyone thinks i'm some sorta backstabber 'cause i'm
workin' fer shinra? s'at why i'm bein' treated like a fuckin'
outsider scumbag? what th' fuck wallmarket. i'm yer fuckin'
favourite son. no one ever did y'so much good as i did. s'not like
i'm gone fer good, i'm comin' back every other night, when i'm not
locked in th' sweatshop. i'm still yer best friend. what th' FUCK.

i dunno what i'm doin' down here. no one fuckin' wants me 'round here
an' 'fore long, i'm gonna have th' fuckin' losers i used t'run with
trackin' m'ass down fer good times. s'all i need, more people
singlin' me out fer nothin'.

i don't know if shinra's worth it. th' only one i got at this point
is rude, but i'm still not sure he even likes me. maybe one'a these
nights, i'll ask 'im t'come drinkin' with me. hell, worth a shot.

tseng don't seem like th' drinkin' type, s'far as i've known 'im. not
talkin' t'me much, specially since i started makin' fun'a that fuckin'
dot in 'is forehead. trainin's postponed fer right now 'cause i piss
'im off so much. heh. reno one, dothead zip.

ech. i think i'm gonna puke.
linkpost comment

bee-double-ee-double-are-you-en [Feb. 8th, 2005|09:37 pm]
[action |iratefuck this shit]
[noise |SR71 [lucky]]

fuckin' bullshit, man. i've been lookin' half this week fer some kinda good bar i can hit on th' plate. it's all pansy-ass bullshit, everyone's stuck-up, tight-ass white collar jerkoffs. i can't stand it.

so i stole a car.

went back down t'th' market. good t'be back, y'know. went t'th' old spots, ran into some... unfriendly faces. kicked ass, took names, had a drink an' suddenly it hit me. no one's boozin' with me. no one's askin' fer a good time. no one's on my side'a th' fuckin' establishment.

i hate this fuckin' job. they don't pay me enough t'be a fuckin' stranger in m'own hometown. christ, it's like i'm th' fuckin' plague'r somethin'. i jus' don't get it. why th' fuck am i a turk if it means i can't eat, drink an' be merry? an' why th' FUCK can't i get a little ACTION. i swear t'fuckin' god i'm gonna marry m'right hand. only then m'left would get jealous. what tangled webs i weave. heh.

shinra can fuckin' bite me. i'll get what i want somehow.
linkpost comment

[ viewing | most recent entries ]